Poem::: Of Heart and Doubt

I hold a steady hand upon my beating heart

As I begin to think.

I cry to drain my drowning mind

So I may leave sad memories behind.

The tears paint my face with a black line,

But soon it will be fine.

I have a stinging heart that dies to reach for your comfort,

But careful thoughts have led me astray.

Arrogance has put me in a position of doubt;

It is this doubt that tells me not to get too close to you.

I'm wise and bold,

But yet you have more love for me than I do for you.

Your hands are so warm,

Yet mine are so cold.

My heart begs and pleas to my doubts to leave my thoughts alone,

But in my heart’s company does it remain.

So now I lay,

Stuck in the cross fires of my core and uncertainty.

The tears are searing my eyes shut,

And force me into dreamless sleep.

My face still painted in tears of black,

My chest beats fast like an attack,

And my doubts continue to mock my weakening heart.

For it has been noted

That you are devoted,

But I a lark

With love painted dark,

And wings that must be set lose to fly.

Your love is true,

My love is black and blue...